Jokes                                                           Butha Sunhous                                                   naughty                                                                                            )	     j  V  	    4
      Jokes         "How is your wife," asked Zalither. "She's in bed with laryngitis," replied Harlyth. "Is that Argonian bastard back in town again?"     "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." "Have you seen a healer?" "No, just spots."     A big Nord named Julgen was set on by a gang of thieves. He fought them furiously, but in the end, they beat him into semiconsciousness. They searched his pockets and discovered that he only had three gold pieces on him.   "Do you mean to tell us you fought us like a mad lupe for three lousy gold pieces?" sneered one of the thieves.   "No," answered Julgen. "I was afraid you were after the four hundred gold pieces in my boot."     During the War of Betony, the Bretons in the Isle of Craghold were under siege for several days. After the island was liberated, Lord Bridwell found the ruins of the castle where a crowd of survivors were hidden away in the dark. It was going to be a difficult job freeing them, as part of the roof had collapsed trapping them all within. Bridwell stuck his head in the only opening and shouted to the Bretons below: "Are there any expectant mothers down there?"   "It's hard to say, your Lordship," said a young woman. "We've only been down here for a few days."     An elderly Breton met with an contemporary of his at a guild meeting. "Harryston, old man, I wanted to express my sympathy. I hear that you buried your wife last week."   "Had to, old boy," replied Harryston. "Dead, you know."     Why was the Sentinel army so useless during the War of Betony? The cannons were too heavy, so all three garbage scows sunk.     What does a new Sentinel private learn first as a combat technique? How to retreat.     What is the thinnest book in the world? Redguard Heroes of the War of Betony.     A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making love with another man. When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."     A Dark Elf woman was being shown around Daggerfall. When she was shown the magnificent Castle Daggerfall, she smiled sweetly to her guild and whispered, "It reminds me of sex."   "That's odd," said her guild. "Why does our Castle Daggerfall remind you of sex?"   The Dark Elf sighed, "Everything does."     Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having  dinner with a Dark Elf named Morleth that night.   "I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip your dress right off you."   "Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure to wear an old dress."     How do separate sailors in the Khajiiti navy? With a hammer and tongs.     "This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, the Khajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, for example, is where I first made love. And that tree, is where her mother stood, watching us."   "She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" said Hasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?"   "Meow."     What do you call a Wood Elf who doesn't lie or cheat or steal?   A dead Wood Elf.                 