Fools' Ebony, Part the Fiveth                                   Frincheps                                                       naughty                                                                                            )	 L  |  b      V    H             ,$  &  )  u,  o/  '2  4  Z8  :  /=  F?      Fools' Ebony  Part The  Fiveth           Dramatis Personae   Prologue The Adventurer, A Dark Elf Rascal Komon, A Priest of Akatosh Lheban, Another Priest of Akatosh Epilogue Stete, A Priest of Julianos Raic, Another Priest of Julianos Shub, A Mage Shub, A Different Mage of the Same Name Nephron, A Somewhat Sleazy Merchant 5 Armorers Ortho Crunn, Husband of Millie A Lusty Contessa Millie, Innkeep and Philosopher Gurnsey, Bovine Wench Assorted Wenches and Cads of the Taverns Soldiers Dwarves Giants     Part The Fiveth - Back With The Priests, Final                   Plans, and a Killing or Two     is Reported...          Nearer the middle of the Month of Frostfall, The Inn of the Pink Nymph.    (Enter Prologue, the Adventurer, Ortho, Nephron, the Five Armorers, and Prologue)   Prologue:   Our roguish Dark Elf, the Adventurer has             plummeted before our stunned eyes, from       the king of the spider web of intrigue       to a pathetic, crawling lump of Argonian       excrement. In the quest for Fools'       Ebony, that substance that all would kill       for, the Adventurer attempted to play       Mage against Priest with the help of the       merchant Nephron. Alas, that is to say,       alackaday, the five armorers have trapped       Nephron and the Adventurer and taken over       their scheme. The hulking Ortho now       watches the Adventurer's every move. But       I get the feeling -- to be honest, don't       you? -- that beneath the Adventurer's       defeated quivering jelly lurks a jungle       cat of such cunning and resource to       shatter all his enemies when the time is       right. Of course, I could be wrong. Ah,       I see one of the priests of Akatosh who       believes himself a friend of the       Adventurer. I, Prologue must away.   (Exit Prologue) (Enter Lheban, a Priest of Akatosh.)   Lheban:     Evening there, mind if I join you?   Adventurer: Well ... since you already have - no.             And where is our esteemed brother       Komon this chill evening?   Lheban:     You mean you haven't heard -- Oh, I             guess you have been busy with the ...       preparations?   Adventurer: Right, right, very busy...   Lheban:     Then let me tell you -- Oh, what a bad             business. What trouble ... Oh Dear ...             Well ... you doubtless recall that poor       Komon had this ... er ... problem --             overwork of course!   Adventurer: Oh yes -- you fellows do work exceeding             hard, seems to me.   Lheban:     Well ... recall how Komon left, somewhat             erratically as it were, and ... er ...             made off with that young blondie under             the lamppost outside? Well -- in his ...             er ... state of confusion -- he grabbed             the wrong blondie - Oh My, indeed the       wrong one ...   Adventurer: They all look pretty much the same to me,             but of course, I do not look too hard!   Lheban:     Oh My! Well, to cut a short tale to the             bone, old Komon grabbed a Contessa, who             had thought to 'disguise herself.' Oh             Dear!       Adventurer: Well -- did she get away?  Did they catch             Komon? What happened?   Lheban:     Well, old Komon, tipsy as he was, was             quick as spit in a gale. Eluded all             pursuit, took the lady to a small private       ... retreat house that we have.  Oh Dear       Me! Well, the City Guards, Palace guards,       half a dozen Royals, all caught up with       Komon 3 days later. One day too late for       the poor Contessa -- I hear that they had       a hard time locating all the ... er ...       bits and pieces. Komon was there, passed       out cold. And another body, some common       blond lamppost girl. And by now he is cold       -- permanently, most likely at the bottom             of the Bay.   Adventurer: Oh well. Serves the Contessa right, coming             down to this area. But I suppose that       there are repercussions?   <Enter two more Priests, Raic and Stete of Julianos, and four armed City Guards.)   Raic:       Evening, Lheban. Evening, Adventurer. And --   Ortho:      Me am Ortho.   Raic:       Yesss. Charmed. And Lheban, you indeed have             my sympathies ... if there is anything we can       do to help -- our Temple of Julianos, that       is ..?  But really, you should have kept             Komon on a tighter leash - or preferably a             noose!   Adventurer: Hello Raic. And hello to you, Stete - how's             your sister?   Stete:      Oh, she's great.   (Raic sets Stete on fire, but it goes out)   Lheban:     Yes, I know I know. Oh the repercussions! Do             you know that the Priests of Akatosh to             Daggerfall Castle, Wayrest Palace and just             about everywhere else have all been thrown out?             That the Royal tax exemption for the Chantry       has been revoked? That the Akatosh Chantry has              just received a 'past due taxes' bill? Oh My!   Adventurer: Well ... I suppose that we could help somewhat,             maybe? Maybe a small loan from Julianos for             that tax bill? With, say, a Temple as security?             Oh -- are not the taxes based on the number of              the Priests of Akatosh? So, maybe ... the School       of Julianos could take over a ... significant       number?  Reduce your tax bill? You realize that              this is not the best time for this -- just as       we need a lot of funds for that expedition that             I am arranging for you.   Lheban:     Oh, I am so sorry about Komon! But, yes, maybe             if good brother Raic could -- I hate to say             this -- take over a greater share of the       financial burden ..? In return, of course, for             ... er ... considerations ..?   Raic:       Hmm. Like a good number of 'permanently' loaned             priests? A long look at your books? At your       cellar?  Your name-lists? A Temple as security       on our loan? And, of course, a bigger cut in       the proceeds of this ... expedition? Names of       your ... er ... suppliers ..?   Lheban:     Oh. I foresaw something like this, talked a bit             about it with old Mucky-Muck - livid, he was.       But, as I am a Senior Brother, he finally             authorized me to 'take care of it.' Those             weren't his exact words, mind you, which were       quite a bit ...longer, more explicit ... but             the gist, at least.   Adventurer: Of course, Lheban. If -- and note I say 'if' --             if we are successful, why then you can easily             get back into good graces at the Palace. Merely             sell them the goods, as a good low rate! With             first refusal on any shipment you have?  What's             one Contessa to them, anyway?   Lheban:     Yes, yes! That could work!  Worth a try. But             how? Royals will not talk to anyone from       the Akatosh Chantry now.   Adventurer: Leave that to me, I can make ... approaches to             certain ones. Yes, I can probably persuade             them to let up on the Chantry, in return for       ... future favors ...   Lheban:     Oh, Oh how can I thank you?   Adventurer: Well, I need a fair amount of gold to finish             setting up my little trip. Maybe 10,000?             Special horses, reinforced carts, cartiers,       guards ... the list goes on and on. And the             cost of keeping our little trip quiet is             really quite high.   Lheban:     Well, yes, we can afford it, I guess -- you             do have the map now, don't you? I know we       can afford 8,000 gold. Given the potential       profits ...   Adventurer: Rest easy! - it's all here in my cloak --             show you in a bit. I've also managed to ...       hire some good young hefty fellows, like old       Ortho here, to manage the carts, dig and             load, act as guards, and so on ...   Lheban:     Good, good - I can relax a bit. Oh my, the             fellows back at the Chantry will be so             relieved. We really owe you, the Brotherhood             does -- Oh, I mean the Akatosh Chantry, of             course!   Stete:      Brotherhood ..? What about our sisterhood, eh?   (Raic grapples Stete, allowing Lheban to hit Stete with a large mallet)   Adventurer:  Well, Raic, what about you and the School?              How much are you good for, the extra 2000?        And maybe some more - always lots of last              minute expenses on a trip like this, you know.   Raic:        Well now. Since we seem to getting a whole              extra sect of Priests, and ... other        considerations ... Certainly!   Adventurer:  Well, gentlemen -- Oh, and Stete -- here it              is!   (The Adventurer pulls out a map, gives it to Raic)          Oh, by the Arms of Zenithar, did I ever have              to work hard for this! Those cagey Mages! But,              in the end, just greedy old fools! ... Oh,              just in case you or your, er, Head Priest,        hasn't seen the goods -- here's a sample.              Play with it.   (The Adventurer hands Raic a small leather bag)   Raic:        Thank you, thank you. I must admit, I had              some ... well, some doubts. You know --              dealing with a stranger, so on ... No more.              Partner!   Adventurer:  Good, good!   (Stete hiccoughs)   Stete:       Say, you fellows ever hear this one --              what's a Priest keep under his robe? Haha        -- His sister! Haheheha!   (The Adventurer, Lheban, and Raic beat Stete into unconsciousness)   Raic:       You know, I fear that we really have to             do something about young Stete here ...       his sister thing ... ugh!    Adventurer: Yes, he could be another Komon -- just             what don't need!   Lheban:     Hmmmm. This sister of his -- does she             really -- exist?   Raic:       Oh yes. My. Oh yes. We know her well --             I mean, we have often seen her ...   Lheban:     I think, Brother, that she should be             made to see the errors of her ways. So       she is no longer an influence on       Stete ...   Raic:       Yes, most certainly ... Hmmm ...   Lheban:     A somewhat Dibelytical theological             point -- Oh, please excuse the technical             discussion here - Raic, if we are to             make her see the errors -- well, how       shall I put it -- we first have to know       just what the ... ways ... are, correct?   Raic:       Indeed, an astute observation! Hmmm ...             so you are suggesting that ... in a nut,       we should first determine her ... ways,       so as to be able to then show her the       ... er ... errors?   Lheban:     Precisely! Mind you, a difficult,             ardous, tiring project, I fear. One that             will take all our ... will and energy.   Raic:       Hmmm, true. But challenging, eh? Take             all our time - but then, we shall have             some time, while friend the Adventurer       here is off hauling and carting.   Lheban:     And ... I personally, would feel far             safer if we were ... in retreat maybe.       Studying the ways ..?   Adventurer: Yeah -- be a good idea for you two to,             maybe, disappear? For a while, of course.             Cut down on the chances of a ... rival             faction catching on? Or catching you?   Raic:       Very well! Lheban, why don't you and I             take his sister off with us on a ...       theological retreat, as it were? Study             the ways in details, and so on ...   Lheban:     We could go to that unused little             Temple, up on that shoulder of Edward's             Mountain ... out of the way, quiet ...   Raic:       Door has locks ...   Lheban:     Thick walls ...   Raic:       A big cellar ...   Lheban:     Good! It's settled then. A theological             retreat! Oh goody!   Raic:       Of course, once we know the ... er ...             ways in detail, we can of course tell             old High Mucky-Muck, and let him take care              of the ... er ... showing of the errors ..?             Yes, that would improve his mood quite a       bit ...   Lheban:     Then it's agreed. Let's start, say, day             after tomorrow?   Raic:       Yes! Adventurer, why don't I meet you at,             oh, that horrid ugly statue of ... what       on Tamriel is it? - a harpy and a gargoyle?              Called something silly like 'Vendigao and       Her Lover' or some such? Up in the north       west corner of the town. Oh, and can I       keep the map?   Adventurer: Sure, keep it, I have a copy. And you will             pass me a small bag, there at that nasty       statue?   Raic:       Have it all ready for you -- say, ten             o'clock sharp? Oh, Lheban, another       thought about young Stete here. He really             needs some ... seasoning in the field,             one might say ...?   Lheban:     Hmmm. Good point ... I know! The priest             who handles field assignments is coming             by tomorrow. We could arrange an ...             educational ... assignment for Stete?   Raic:       Very good! But where ... hmmm ...             Winter's coming soon now. There's a       vacancy up in Solitude, far north Skyrim,       I believe. Night collections at street             corners, or some such. Very Good! Come on,             Lheban. We have accounts to work on. Good             night to you then, Adventurer.  Ten             tomorrow morning!        (Lheban, Raic rise to leave, picking up Stete)   Lheban and Raic (Together): ... have to arrange some supplies ...             ... leather, rope ... holy wine ....             ... lots of that pink powder ... I       prefer the green, myself ...   (Exeunt Lheban, Raic dragging Stete, and City Guard)   Nephron:    Well?   Adventurer: Excellent. Went just as I said it would.             Got 5000 gold from them. And, thanks to             your work with that Contessa ... we have              the screws on the Chantry. And the School       of Julianos is going to be ... otherwise       engaged ... on a theological retreat.       More like a Sanguine retreat!   Nephron:    And those Mages Shub and Shub seem to             have disappeared ...   Adventurer: So we are set?   Nephron:    Yes, you can come by my warehouse             tomorrow afternoon. Have the heavy carts             waiting.   Ortho:      And Ortho ...   Nephron:    Oh yes, must not forget you fellows.             How kind of you to ... volunteer your       services ...   Adventurer: Tomorrow, then!   (Exeunt omnes) (Last person to leave looks just like a Royal in disguise ...) (Enter Epilogue)   Epilogue:   Well, we only have one part left to this             play and I've run out counting the number       of loose strings. Either Part the Sixth       is going to be eight hours long, or we're       going to leave some parts unsolved. I for       one hope that they don't chose to drop       the character of the Wanton Contessa. For       Jephre's sake, she's been on the Dramatis       Personae since Part the Oneth. Ah, well.       Nobody leave your seat. Your gold will       not be refunded. Any gold you can spare       to tip your friendly wenches will be       greatly appreciated. We just have a quick       costume change and a set to put together       and we'll be back. In the meanwhile, enjoy       our bard's rendition of the Nordic classic       "Alas, The Fleeting Years Glide By."                         So Endeth Part The Five   